Hello my loves,
Welcome to issue 001 of my joy digest. Before we get to the meat, here are some potatoes. (FAQs)
what is this?
A (short!!!) weekly-ish newsletter about things that bring me joy — that simple. This will, more often than not, take the form of a numbered list of recommendations. Some weeks, it’ll be an assortment of random things — TV I’m watching, book recs, self-care hacks, links to read, sex toys, other products. At times, these things might seem deeply esoteric, expensive, or particular to my taste, and for that I blame my taurus sun. But overall, I aim to recommend things you’ll genuinely want to read, watch, subscribe to, buy, participate in, etc. Expect frequent hype for small businesses (no Amazon links from me!!!), digital actions from activists, and occasional self-promo for my latest projects. I’ll also occasionally write *special* lists on a single topic — e.g. queer artists to buy from, favorite shows of the quarter, activists/organizers to follow. I would love you to tweet me suggestions on what those special lists could be as we go along.
why should i pay for this?
Mama, I’m making 100% of the content from this letter free to those who can’t afford it — particularly queer and marginalized folx who come across my pages. There is no “exclusive” content (for now!) and I would like to keep it that way. So, if you *can* afford it, you should be paid subscribers because it helps make the letter free for everyone. Those who have *a lot* of wealth should be Zaddy/Zommy-tier subscribers. As a freelancer, revenue from this letter helps me offset the cost of my time and steadies my income stream for things like rent or health insurance. Those at the Zaddy/Zommy level can expect love notes from me, a free flowing channel of what you like/dislike about the letter, perhaps even nudes.
what is this not?
First of all, no longform writing. Call me Madame Défecit, because I’m out of attention. If you want more, I can be convinced! But for now, the longest thing will be a few paragraphs of musings before every list. I may also excerpt things I publish a piece elsewhere. You also won’t find a ton of personal info in this letter. To paraphrase Fran Leibovitz, “Your life story would not make a good [newsletter]. Don't even try!” I air out enough of my life on social and Food 4 Thot, tbh. Finally, I’ll avoid being super sales-y. If I recommend a product, it’s because I genuinely love it. If I use affiliate links or include sponsored content, I’ll disclose that (no matter how insufferable it may be — girl’s gotta eat)! 👩🏽🍳
why joy?
As if you need a reason. Joy is hard to find these days, yet it remains the singular life force holding a lot of queer and marginalized people up right now. Sometime last year, I built a practice of taking stock of those joys and putting them in a little email to a few dozen of my friends. When the chaos of 2020 hit, it became a gesture as much for myself as it was for them because it forced me to pay attention to my joys and the things/actions/people that sparked it. We’ve all heard that joy = resistance, and some iteration of Audre Lorde’s “Uses of the Erotic.” But what if we started seeing it as an essential part of the process? In the words of adrienne maree brown, “Joy is important. It’s not a guilty pleasure. It is a strategic move towards the future we all need to create.” More than a year later, I’m continuing that practice with you in the hopes that you find a ritual for your joy, too.
Ok! Enough housekeeping. Let’s get to it.
Xx Fran
some things that brought me joy
1. Veneno is one of the tenderest and most entertaining shows of the year. HBOMax really has been that girl, and my subscription remains, to my surprise, uncanceled. The miniseries follows a fictionalized telling of the real-life trans media personality Cristina Ortiz Rodriguez, aka La Veneno (“The Poison”). Essentially, Christina goes “viral” before the age of viral media after an appearance on a popular Spanish late-night talk show that sought to exploit her. What follows is the story of a community of trans sex-workers and their relationship to a trans girl who wants to write La Veneno’s story. Performance props to the very different and nuanced performances of the *three* actresses who play La Veneno at various stages of her life (even if Paca stole every scene), as well as Lola Rodriguez who is a good follow on IG. Though I’m sad Cristina couldn’t live to see her life immortalized, I’m grateful for this plinth on which to worship her.
2. I got a weighted blanket for Christmas. Game. Changer. I have a Bearaby, but a slightly more affordable option is at Sheltered Co.
3. I bought my biological family a bunch of stocking stuffers from Loquita, a Latinx-owned bath shop that makes extremely cute paleta-inspired soaps and concha-scented scrubs. Their stuff sells out quickly, so get in there when they drop more stuff tonight at 6pm!
4. Thanks to the recently launched Chani app, I am now a big proponent of sending moon pics to your friends. I have a lot of long-distance group chats, and on full moon nights it’s been cute as hell for us all to drop moon pics/vids so we feel connected by something. 🌝
5. I collect works from queer/trans artists, and having moved into a new, cheaper apartment, I made some room in the budget to start buying again. I recently crowdsourced recommendations on social, and the response was *huge*. I took the liberty of curating a selection of those artists into an IG highlight and it did in fact bring me joy. Peruse, and please buy from those that inspire you!
6. From my wishlist, I got ASL classes from the Sign Language Center for Christmas. As we continue to quarantine, I am thirsty to wrinkle my brain in different ways and have been taking classes/seminars here and there. I’m excited to learn some basics, and maybe even talk to my deaf friends who will find my lack of fluency sad, but perhaps cute.
7. Have been waiting all year for a film like Your Name Engraved Herein, a gay Taiwenese romance that came out this month. Not only is the film historic in its creation, but it is also tender and um, very hot. 🥵
8. Not sure who among the homosexuals failed to tell me about The Face, a 2013 ANTM-esque reality show judged by none other than Naomi Campbell, but I am livid it’s taken me this long to watch it. Reader, I’ve watched the American edition, as well as the Australian and UK seasons. After watching Making The Cut, I knew Naomi to be one of the greatest reality TV judges of all time. (Can we get her on Drag Race please?) But this show, and her contributions to it, are sublime.
9. Mr. Picardi’s oral history of the fashion industry through the AIDS epidemic is nothing short of epic (in the sense that it is a heroic feat). Learned so much when I already thought I knew a lot, and that’s a testament to the massive amount of reporting Phill put into it.
10. My friend Junior Mintt is putting on an NYE digital drag show and from the promo, you can already tell it’s going to be good. To get a ticket, simply ILCNYE with your email.
11. B-Vibe is one of my favorite purveyors of anal goods and they are having a sale right now. If you love anal (which I also recommend), I am a fan of their vibrating silicone plugs, but their lube applicator is also handy — definitely more for regular sex with a partner than spontaneous sex with a newcomer, but I love its utilitarianism. Your rectal walls with thank you. 💦
12. OK finally — other friends’ Substacks! Obviously, I follow a long line of other writers looking to subsidize their ongoing work. Here are some of my faves. Amina publishes a plentiful letter with musings, readings, and advice, among other things. As someone who is lucky enough to be on the receiving end of Amina’s advice, I can’t recommend this one enough. Fariha does one on healing and self-care — Jenna Wortham and Mimi Zhu write on similar topics. Though on a temporary hiatus, Phillip Picardi and Kimberly Drew write gay essays and daily art features, respectively. JP Brammer publishes my favorite advice column on the internet, and he never misses a date. Ty Mitchell writes about sex work and reading. Arabelle Sicardi writes on beauty — and in a way you’ve never read before. Meredith Talusan writes on, well, writing. I am frequently forwarding her newsletter to my friends and colleagues because it is so chock full of resources and generous insight. Not on Substack, but I must recommend the essays — especially the paid content — that Alexander Chee puts on Medium as he remains one of my favorite writers of all time. And finally, Chani Nicholas keeps putting horoscopes out for free and they never fail to shake me.
this week’s action
All eyes on Georgia. Volunteer for the final days of The New Georgia Project’s fight to win the Senate for the progressive movement as they phone bank and canvas. If you can’t volunteer, then donate. To learn more about the organizers, I recommend this podcast deep-diving into their work.