Great British Bake Off Is the Mood Stabilizer You Need Right Now
Great British Bake Off Is the Mood Stabilizer You Need Right Now
Plus! A fall playlist, good weed, and other things to do instead of watching Dave Chapelle.
Soggy bottoms,
When I first sat down to write this letter, I was composing some lengthy diatribe about the trials and tribulations of casual dating, and it was going to be very raw, emotional, and resonant. But I have something far more important to talk about today.
Summoned by the crisp winds of autumn, cozy season has returned to squirt my veins with the sweet dopamine of The Great British Baking Show. The comfort competition reality series about aggressively mediocre home bakers is among my favorites — maybe because of its stark contrast to American food competition shows.
In American shows, there is a lot at risk. Knives flying everywhere, a menacing electric guitar thrashes, Gordon Ramsey is screaming into your ear. You have twenty minutes to make a three course meal and your only ingredients are licorice pudding, onions, and a Slim Jim! If something is undercooked, Padma Laksmhi will personally spit in your eye. Each competitor needs the prize money on life or death circumstances: “My mom is on her dying bed in the hospital,” “I need to help my brother seek asylum to escape persecution,” “My parents kicked me out of the house when I was thirteen because I’m a lesbian and I need this money to get out of debt.”
In GBBO, the stakes could not be lower. Wind instruments only. The bakers are in a sweeping pasture filled with tranquil sheep. They are given days, sometimes a week, to practice and prepare ahead of time, and entire segments comprise of them just looking at their ovens in anxious boredom. The judges are polite, if not matriarchal, and there is no prize money — just a glass cake dish. All of the competitors are administrative assistants or grandparents or 19 years old.
And this season promises the same exemplary mediocrity that keeps me coming back. No spoilers, but my faves so far:
So far, Crystelle is the winner of my heart as well as, I imagine, America’s. She might not be the most technically savvy baker in the tent, but she is someone you want to hang out with and she uses brown people flavors, and tbh that’s enough for me. Love when the judges taste something and are like, so shocked when there are spices from the “exotic ingredients” section of the grocery store — a microcosm.
Lizzie, giving closeted erotic fanfiction author, reminds me of a lot of people (social pariahs) I was friends with in high school, and we stan. Though the latest episode did make the harrowing reveal that her family had a pet pig when she was in highschool they had to put down because it got sl, the most iconic thing she has admitted was coming to the practice tent and instead of doing her bake like all the other competitors, she was too anxious and just watched harry potter instead. Avoidant queen!
George is another to beat, but only because I think his Cypriot style is something the show has never seen before. Also, look how cute he is. 😍
Jurgen is here to kill, and I mean that in the figurative sense because he is a surgically detailed baker, but also in the sense that he kinda gives serial killer vibes. No expression on his face, just cold ambition.
Giuseppe has trotted up to the front as something of a dark horse. I wonder if he only succeeded this week because bread is his strong suit, but I also think he has what it takes to dethrone Jurgen. Separately, he also has big hot person energy, and I feel he possesses the ability to make any woman fall in love with him.
And for the Gen Z baker that keeps pushing these vegan recipes …..why. Sis, we did not tune in to watch you use almond milk and chia egg okay? Find another show!
Anyway, I’m dying to hear your GBBO takes. And if you don’t watch, well, here are some other things that brought me joy.
Xx Fran
P.S. Puerto Rico for the week — anyone have recommendationss that are shopping or eating or gay?
some things that brought me joy this week
1. I don’t know if Squid Game “brought me joy” so much as it reflected a mirror on the ugliest parts of late-stage capitalism in a way that I guess is enthralling as it is horrifying. Most takes have already been said, but my two cents is that there was insidious lesbian subtext between two very hot characters and I really feel like the writers KNEW what they were doing even if it did not quite manifest.
2. I’m not at all in a place to be making beauty recommendations on this here letter, but my friend Willie evangelized Charlotte Tillbury’s Hollywood Flawless Filter, a semi-coverage magic that makes my skin feel so shiny, warm, and poreless. I wear it most nights I go out now with a lil contour, highlight, gloss, and maybe a lash — and I feel *GBBO voice* stoonen.
3. Sex Education remains one of my favorite TV shows I have ever watched, period. What a perfect ensemble, with each and every character, major to minor, cast perfectly and giving a performance you’re invested in immediately. This season showed off an emotional depth I was not prepared for, and I wept through the latter half of the season — particularly *that one* dance scene in Nigeria. Omg! I long to write something as good as that.
4. I have this perfect fall playlist that I made over a decade ago and return to every season, but this year I decided I needed a refresher and made a new one with my favorite self-determined “autumnal” bops. I curated it a little too — starts with straight country, then bleeds into contemporary alt-rock, before cruising into acoustic ballads. Pls enjoy!
5. Deserving of its own shout-out, the inspiration for this playlist was the new Phoebe release, which is one of her crispiest, crunchiest songs to date.
6. This earrings brand that has been all over Instagram as of late is one of those places where if you spend too long on the site you’ll wind up with twelve things in your cart. The studs are so cute, I literally got my ears double pierced so that I can wear more studs.
7. The new Kacey album flew a bit under the radar for me, maybe because it’s a record as perfect as Golden Hour is tough to follow, but I really appreciated what she did and a few songs in particular shook me — “hookup scene,” and “there is a light.” (That flute solo!!)
8. The other day, Ash came over for a pool date and we brought the exact same book (insufferable) — Michaela Coel’s Misfits. It is an adaptation of a speech she gave about visibility, isolation, the creative process, and a bunch of other things. Though it is beautiful, I will say I’m ready for an *actual* book from her because I wanted more, more, more!
9. I’ve been smoking this for months now, but I feel like I have finally landed on my go-to weed strain, Pure Beauty sativa. It is very psychoactive, giggly, and vibrant. It strikes a good balance between clarity of thought while also zonking the fuck out. Plus they come in mini joints that are cute as fuck.
10. Carne Bollente, my favorite purveyor of horny clothes, sent me a pair of their Penis Pants and unfortunately, I no longer want to wear any other plant.
11. One of my favorite people, Adam J. Kurtz, is releasing a new book and it is definitely his best yet! You Are Here (For Now) is filled with beautiful little nuggets about life, death, work, anxiety, etc. It is so sweet and profound you’ll want to rip pages out and pin them to your mirror. Get on that preorder!
this week’s action
For no reason in particular, I would like to direct your attention to the work of Trans Lifeline, which resources trans communities year-round with 24/7 emotional and financial support — an invaluable effort when certain people in this country care more about making money than they do about the lives of trans people, popularizing as some kind of branding tactic.